Sulfur dioxide:- From too many people with too many tummy troubles eating too many eggs.

Lead:- From overly burdensome taxes on the rich, which have lessened their ability to buy fine lead crystal,the preferred method of lead sequestration.

Methane:- From the butts of left-wing cows chewing commie alfalfa they got from a pinko farm co-op.

Mercury:- From a series of secret spaceprobes that were sent to planet Mercury by the Johnson, Carter and Clinton administrations that have kicked up clouds of “mercury dust”, which have now drifted back to earth.

Carbon Dioxide:- From living, green plants, ofcourse, which exhale CO2.(Anybody who couldn’t come upwith that one obviously hasn’t spent enough time learning how to misrepresent scientific fact!)